Neurodivergent Therapy

When Your Brain Turns Against You: Neurodivergence, Negative Thoughts, and Rejection Sensitivity

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You text a friend. They don’t reply.

Your boss gives neutral feedback.
Your partner says “we’ll talk later.”

And suddenly your mind is off to the races:

  • “They’re mad at me.”
  • “I screwed everything up.”
  • “I always ruin things.”
  • “I’m too much. No one really likes me anyway.”

If you’re neurodivergent — especially if you live with ADHD, autism, or BPD — you’re probably familiar with this cycle.

This isn’t just overthinking. It’s the collision of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) — and it can be overwhelming, exhausting, and deeply isolating.

🧠 What Are Automatic Negative Thoughts?

ANTs are those instant, uninvited thoughts that pop up in response to situations — often rooted in shame, fear, or trauma. They’re:

  • Rapid
  • Emotionally charged
  • Usually untrue (or only half-true)
  • Hard to turn off once they start

Examples:

  • “I’m a failure.”
  • “They’re annoyed with me.”
  • “I mess everything up.”
  • “I’ll never be good enough.”

For neurodivergent people, these thoughts may be more intense, more frequent, and more believable — especially if you’ve grown up feeling “different,” “too much,” or like you constantly had to work twice as hard to be half as accepted.

💔 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

RSD is an intense emotional reaction to the perception of rejection, criticism, or disapproval — real or imagined. It’s like emotional whiplash: a comment, a pause, a tone of voice can send you into a spiral of shame and self-hate within seconds.

Common experiences with RSD:

  • Overanalyzing every social interaction
  • Believing someone’s silence means they secretly dislike you
  • Feeling devastated by even gentle feedback
  • Avoiding situations where rejection is even possible
  • Needing constant reassurance — and still not believing it

🌀 The RSD + ANT Loop

Here’s what often happens:

  1. You sense a shift in tone or behavior (real or perceived).
  2. RSD kicks in: “They hate me. I’ve messed up again.”
  3. ANTs swarm: “I always do this. I’m broken. I should just stop trying.”
  4. You either withdraw, mask harder, lash out, or freeze — reinforcing the cycle.

And to make it worse? You know it’s probably not true. But knowing that doesn’t stop the flood of emotion. It just adds a layer of guilt or embarrassment on top.

😔 Why This Is So Common for Neurodivergent People

If you’re neurodivergent, you may have:

  • Grown up being corrected more than praised
  • Felt like you had to hide your “real” self to fit in
  • Been labeled “too sensitive,” “too intense,” or “too much”
  • Struggled to read social cues, leading to constant uncertainty
  • Experienced trauma from chronic misunderstanding or exclusion

Your nervous system learned to expect rejection — and your brain wired itself to protect you from it, even if it means turning you against yourself.

🧭 What You Can Do

1. Name it.
Sometimes just saying “Oh, that’s my RSD talking” or “These are ANTs — not facts” can slow the spiral.

2. Pause before responding.
Give yourself time before replying to a message or reacting emotionally. Come back to it with a calmer nervous system.

3. Challenge the thought, not the feeling.
Your emotions are real — but the story behind them might not be. Try: “What else might be true here?”

4. Practice rejection resilience.
Reframe rejection not as a reflection of your worth, but as a normal part of human life. Hard? Yes. But freeing.

5. Use sensory grounding.
If you’re spiraling, do something physical: touch a textured object, breathe with your hands on your chest, take a cold sip of water. Get out of your head and back into your body.

6. Get ND-affirming support.
Work with a therapist who gets neurodivergence and doesn’t pathologize your feelings. You need someone who knows that emotional intensity isn’t a flaw — it’s part of your wiring.

🫶 You’re Not Broken. You’re Just Wired for Depth.

You feel deeply because you care deeply. You overthink because you’ve been conditioned to anticipate rejection. You spiral because your brain is trying to protect you — even if it’s misfiring.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
But you do deserve tools, support, and healing.

I help neurodivergent adults navigate emotional sensitivity, negative thoughts, and rejection spirals with compassion and real strategies. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re “too much” — you’re in the right place. Contact me at: [email protected] or by phone at: 828-489-9195